The Last Day of the Fringe

There are pillars fat with posters

Lashed by rain and winds

Soggy, torn and falling off

On the last day of the fringe.

There are posters in the closes

There are flyers in the wynds

Flattened to wet pavements

Selling comedy and mimes,

And Adam Smith looks down

From his elevated plinth

Taking in the scene below

With perhaps a little cringe

At the camera wielding tourists

On the last day of the Fringe.

There are nuns with beards and Sherlock Holmes

There are pirates, there are smugglers

And the crowds are gathering loosely

Round the fire-eaters and jugglers

Who haven’t set the town on fire -

Well, perhaps  a little singe,

But everyone is winding down

On the last day of the Fringe.

And shops of nylon saltires

And lion rampant flags

Hey Jimmy hats and kilt beach towels

And slightly dubious mags

Are totting up their total take

As they start to feel the pinch

Because trade is falling off now

On the last day of the fringe.

Our money is all spent now

We’ve have a laugh its true

And one too many hangovers

And three shows at the Zoo.

The Pleasance has been pleasant

And in the Underbelly’s good

We had some fun at Bedlam

But everyone has said

That Summerhall, the new venue

Is the saviour of the fringe.

But truly we don’t care now,

On the last day of the fringe.

A little klezmer music

Is playing in the street

And two old men are tapping

Out the rhythm with their feet,

And the air is filled with merriment

That’s fighting the despair

Of a tired and dirty city

That’s trying not to winge

But has nearly had enough by now

On the last day of the fringe,

Of supporting all the stand ups

And the budget theatre acts

Where giant birds are flyering

Along with giant rats,

And a man in drag is pushing

A teddy in a pram

With an air of weary jollity

Searching for more fans

To come and see his five star show

“Hilarious” and “Banned."

We’ve hung out here for long enough

Where visitors impinge

On the patience of the locals

Til the last day of the Fringe.

Today’s  bank holiday Monday

And the kids are back at school

Whereas yesterday was Sunday

And the holiday spirit held.

The families were out in strength

Teenagers on the binge

In tiny shorts and high heeled shoes

That surely must have pinched.

There are far too many reviewers

Or that is what we’ve heard,

There’s talk of star inflation

And a growing stand up herd.

Too much commercialisation’s

An undisputed fact,

But so’s commercial sponsorship

For many of the acts.

Are we a little jaded? Maybe just a tinge

As we go home to watch TV

On the last day of the fringe.